A Marvelous Day Indeed

YAY!!!

My priorities have changed

Alright, I know how gay I've been the past few months and whatnot. But now that someone has told me to move on with my life, I think I am ready to. What priorities could I possibly have right now? Well, my dreams are definately a desire. Some have already been broken, but who says you can only dream once? Or have only one dream? I plan on pursuing my "career" in photography and I plan on actually getting my name out there...somehow. I kinda need ideas/models/better ideas to accomplish this. But I'm sure many of you will help me out. School is a dumb priority. I really have no more motivation to finish fast to get a job so I can live by myself. I don't care about how much money I'll be making, because there's no point in making it, unless I have someone (not me) to use it on. Those are pretty much my only priorities in life right now. Finding another "lover" is def at the bottom of my list. I'm not turning gay or anything, and I am not trying to wait for anyone (maybe.......), but I just don't feel I am able to start completely over with this whole love game. I'm sure in like a few years, I will feel ready to start over. But as for now, my life is my dreams. There's a nice myspace headline for you losers.

Goodbye

My love
I hope you're right
when you tell me
we may cross paths again
But for now,
I will weep nights away
hoping that day
comes sooner.




I will always love you and will miss everything about you.

Whatever it takes

You have no idea, do you?
Call after call, text after text
and no reply.
You think you can try and
keep me in this game of yours?
Using him for whatever he has,
that, for some reason, I never had.
Then, on that "off day" of yours,
call me and act like you are my
best buddy.
Stop giving me hope.
Making me think I can somehow,
someway, whatever it takes, can get
you back.
Stop teasing my emotions
and flat out tell me.
I will probably die if you tell
me you are done.
But it would be worth it.
I won't have to waste my time
trying to figure out what to tell you,
when to tell you,
and what you may say.
Because right now, at this very moment,
I am thinking of trying to get you back.
Into my arms.
Into my life.
Whatever it takes,
I need you back.
Whatever it takes,
I need your love.
Whatever it takes...

In case you haven't seen it

My Sleepy Girl, originally uploaded by DavidNewtonPhotog.

(sighhh) I miss this

Dot Dot Dot

I woke up this morning, hoping today would be different.
Instead
all my memories came back to haunt me.
I stared at myself in the mirror
with each stroke of my toothbrush
only thinking of all the times you "made" me
brush them.
I passed each and every shirt in my closet
thinking of how many times I worn it,
according to you.
I sat in my car, and could not stop trying
to place my hand on your leg,
only to feel empty space, and AC cool air.
I passed by all your favorite restaraunts,
as well as all the fast food joints
you've always hated.
The tunes coming from my speakers
were songs you were in love with,
which made me love them.
Every road was a significance,
whether it was the road to your work, house,
or a road we passed by.
Our "first moments" always occur
in my memory as if
they had just happened.
There is not one moment of my day
where you are not somehow in my mind.
And the thing that is troubling me
is figuring out if this is leading me anywhere.
It could be showing me the truth,
or it may be showing me what I have lost.
There is no ending to this curse.
No cure for this cold.
Only more and more memories
for me to relive, only this time,
alone

Sitting here

You have no idea how much I need you
I am counting the days for when I can get you back
You will break up with him
after you realize he is not me
He has no purpose for you
and it kills me watching you
play with him
as he plays with you
But one day
you will see the truth
and I will be there, waiting,
for you
My arms wide open and my skin
longing for your touch
I can almost feel you now
falling into my chest
shedding your tears
as mine fall into your hair
That moment will be at its peak
when we both exchange those three promising words
"I love you"
back and forth
and back and forth again
But as for now, I sit here
watching my tears form puddles
in my hands
I sit here
waiting for that day
I sit here
waiting for you
You

Page

How could you not see this coming?
You cried and cried
over what you called "love"
when in actuality, you lied
Thanks for those breaks
and I hope you had fun with
them
The ending, most would say, was
very mutual
But I saw you ending it way before the
arriving date
That was kind of a fast
recovery from your
first love romance
This is all to much
and I can't bare it
no longer
I'm not sorry for this happening
and I'm glad to do it
There is no chance in hell
I will be one of your "ex best friends"
I will not wait for another opportunity
for you
You are done
You are gone
You are completely voided out
of my life
I've been told not to hate
but this term seems perfect for you
No matter what you say back
"I'm rubber and you...glue"
Goodbyes are for happy moments
so I'd rather use "Peace"
It's harsh, when used right,
and ironic as well
So if you ever come back to this page
and decide to read everything
Make sure you've memorized this
little page in my book
Because your page has already
been torn out and used for my fire
to find "That someone else"




Peace









edit: This is just way to mean for me...jeez...meaning I don't mean it anymore...

O-Tage

Instead of doing what everyone else does in their blogs after a trip anywhere, I'm not typing a long boring story about each day. Instead, I'm describing the whole trip with these words:

Me, Josh
Troy, Fitz
Bring lots of money
Long drive
528 to 417
Car sucking
5 AM bed
7 AM orientation
9 - 2 UCF
Tubing in springs
Locked car with no keys
Cold water searching
AAA sucking
Josh gets license back in a sneaky manner
Rest a little
Nair burn
Go to WPB
Driving in Barry's weather
Troy avoids death a few times
Stencil's house
Broken lamp
Late for URE
Lost to URE
Get to URE
Go to 2F2F Warehouse
Photogs
DJ FAG
Lisa's House/Steph"Troy"
WAZI FUCK?!
Late Long Drive
Fitz wake up late
Train Derailed
WAZI FUCK?!
Skate
5 stair and ledges
Fakie Ollie
Lolli-cup
Skate
3 Flat 2
Fakie Ollie
Friendly's
Super Smash Bros.
Kirby Rules
Josh leaves
Josh missing
Goodbyes
Long Drive
520 to I-95
"Jambox" breaks
Get home
Forget film
No more money
Sleep on Josh's couch
Wake up to my other life

and the rest is dumb